SIX PORTRAITS OF MADNESS

 

Portrait 1: Outside and Inevitable

 

The hermit grew delusional and portentous
about the outside and the inevitable
with dire moods invading his home

no more did he trust the press, phones
or the outside world in general.

During the day he activated his nocturnal headshrinker
Then again
he never thought he would ever be caught
violating the rules of day-night psychology.

Last words from the smashed and dying shortwave radio
warned that
 many inoperable ruptures 
frustrate the dreams of obstinate
 yet sentient beings.

 

Portrait 2: Elves Themselves

More benign than translucent
we prodded the tremulous elves 
into buses 
and provisioned them with crudites
for the expedition ahead.
Up north
when evil weasels find Etruscan elves elusive
they often turn to Elvis

and thoughts of industry
A rival tribe of trolls with souls

escaped into their underground game rooms.

 

Portrait 3: The Surreal Revolution

In his delirium,
the Archduke felt no remorse
when he consolidated his crockery
in the museum's sarcophagi
Below the parapets
scenes of the surreal revolution...
-
-Roving gangs of octogenarians feared nothing
but the lunar eclipse.

--A compendium of rhinoceros blubbered pluperfect odes.
--A barber refusing to abide by
the Vizier’s holistic manifests.

--Men in overgrown mutton chops
looked superfluous
but proved a fateful distraction

to the Bishop's defrocking.

--Justice was meted out for those that abandoned participatory architecture.

--More inflatable obelisks were deployed to allow the competition to continue
--Chocolate milk went on sale at the infanticide
but went unreported in the media.
Desirous of additional conspiracies
the man from afar said it all.

 

Portrait 4: Unreported Explorers


Finding the planet's fastidious pulchritude tolerable
Captain Des Jardins waded into the hoards

The incredulous hermaphrodites
of the Southern Hemisphere followed suit

The Francophile circumnavigation of the Chukchi Peninsula was
obstructed by the isthmus so he resorted to his dirigible.
On the camping trip
my daughter was chided for not bringing deodorant.
Do you think Daniel Boone would have used deodorant?
The sounds of disco fever wafted in tender tones
over the lonesome prairie.
Closer to home

my collapsible recumbent bicycle helped make many
new friends and leap frogged other bike technology
Over the time horizon
Conquistadors reclined in their mukluks on the charpois

Portrait 5: From a Military Standpoint


Eskimos should have more escalators on their frigates.
A kerfuffle erupted over the issuance
of a new and improved blunderbuss
The adoption papers went missing
after the adorable Panzer leader
executed a pincer movement in western Ukraine
A wounded Brevet Major General excoriated
the cheating charlatans of his command
and uttered unexpurgated oaths

“Tinker-bell in espadrilles equals fashion overkill.”
“Grandpa said you have to take care of the baby
while she gets tattooed.”

“I care not for your javelin experiments

and instead find favor with transubstantiation
and the simple pleasures of saltine crackers.”

“Fortify my carousers with embellishments and rectitude.”
Over the ridge
the violin marching band stormed the fortifications
without a single heartbreak.

 

Portrait 6: In Stores Now


At the motley, old haberdashery
preposterous dramas of amputation and pillow talk played out

amid a magnificent assemblage of gewgaws and gimcracks
In the aisles
pranksters never settled the great debate
between itching powder and sneezing powder.
The stock clerks favored his action items
but my checklist was supreme.
In the hubbub
the constable was so flummoxed

he put the kibosh on the kabob sellers and bamboozlers.
Contrast smartly 
the superior gamesmanship of Chico and the boy

allowing them to extricate the harpsichord from the estuary.
The hobos condemned the blubber display in the town square
while at the same time
 admiring its primordial qualities 
by stealth
At headquarters
not even Zeus, Napoleon and Trump
could restructure the postal rates

for the next fiscal year.